Love Like Winter
by Gannent
Summary: Raven and Robin have a "complicated" relationship. But when their relationship begins to change and The End comes, how will they respond? Mature. Spoilers of the Trigon Arc.
1. It's Complicated

**A/N:**This is the story I am transferring from my account inlovewithsorrow. I hate that site so I'm moving the story here. It is mature. Also, this one is short. Sorry about that. This is Robin's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

I woke up in the middle of the night. No real reason, no nightmare or anything. The moon was full and bright. I rolled over and looked at her. Her sleeping face was radiant in the pale moonlight. I reached over and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, shocking myself in the motion. It was a tender, gentle act of a boyfriend, which I was certainly not. There was no way that I was falling in love with her, like a boyfriend or anything. We didn't mean a thing to each other, at least, not like that. We had been sleeping together for a month and half, maybe two months. When was it that I had first noticed her?

_*Flashback*_

_  
_It had been a beautiful late August day at the beach. I couldn't remember why I had even agreed to go in the first place. We were so busy with the escapades of minor criminals and the grand plots of the truly evil villains that there was no time for a break. But summer was almost over, my friends had begged, pleaded, and insisted, and so we had gone.

I had been surprised that Raven had decided to come. The beach didn't seem like it would be her favorite place. Starfire had been so excited she had rushed us into the T-car before anyone could question. The drive was short and filled with loud music. We arrived quickly and went to the changing rooms. It was nice to get rid of the hot uniform in the summer, but, obviously, the mask stayed. As I left the changing room with the guys, Cyborg decided to track down some food and Beast Boy ran off, his hat taken by a gust of wind. I started to set up the beach umbrella. I was struggling with it when it turned black and snapped open.

"Thought you could use a little help." Raven said

I turned to look at her. It was very simple, really. She was wearing a plain black two-piece, not extremely revealing, but I had never seen her like this before. Despite her small frame, she was all curves, from the turn of her neck to her chest to her full hips and long legs. I was stunned; I had never noticed her looks before. She was my teammate, and my friend, and I had never looked at her like one looked at a pretty girl. I thought that maybe I had never really seen her at all before.

"Robin? Are you okay?" Her voice shocked me back into reality. I felt her hand on my forehead. "You're not getting sunstroke, are you?"

I felt himself almost flinch at her touch. "N-no, I'll be fine. I just... think I forgot something in the changing room. I'll be back."

She said something in reply, but I could not hear her; my mind was full of thoughts racing around, and I could not hear a thing. I spent the rest of the day avoiding her, scared and confused by my thoughts. I did not understand what I was feeling, so I tried to push it away until that evening, when I sat in my room, alone with my thoughts, unable to hide anymore.


	2. Guilt and Acceptance

**A/N: **This one's a lot longer. Still mature.

Disclaimer: Don't own the Titans.

_*Continued Flashback* _

After that day, everything changed for me. I was guilty about the way I felt about Raven. I wanted her, in such a low way that it scared me. I didn't want to acknowledge that part of myself. I felt that these emotions were unsuitable for a hero, so I tried to deny they existed at all.

I could not look at her, because whenever I did I could not suppress those feelings that I was working so hard to deny. Even the swish of her cape or the sound of her voice would conjure up those feelings. I could not touch her, for when I did I pictured myself kissing her, holding her. I longed to stare at her, to study her, to memorize every curve and bend of her body, and to have it be mine.

I had stopped sleeping, up nights thinking about her, and cursing myself for my thoughts. I tried to think of ways that I could distract myself, but nothing could stop the thoughts from coming when I was alone.

It was hurting me, making me testy and on edge with the others, especially Raven. I knew that I was taking my anger out on her because I could not have her, and it made me sick. I still cared about Raven, she was still my friend. I knew that I was hurting her, but I could not control my anger, just as I couldn't control anything else. It was shameful. I took out my anger on the criminals as well, beating henchmen to pulp and worrying my friends. I knew that this could not go on forever, but I didn't know what to do.

It was a week after the beach when she approached me. It was looking to be another sleepless night. I decided to get up and take a walk to calm my restless mind. I opened the door and there she was. She was looking at me with an expression I could not identify, and she spoke.

"Robin, can we talk?"

"Sure." I mumbled.

Raven walked into my room. "Listen, things have been weird between us lately, don't deny it. I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine."

"That's a lie."

I chuckled. "You sure don't beat around the bush, do you?"

"Never have."

I could feel her staring at me, but I could not look at her. I would not. I couldn't have this sort of

weakness. Heroes didn't have weaknesses. I turned away.

"Robin…" Her voice was soft, and I felt a slender hand reach up and touch my arm. I reacted before I thought, turning around and pulling her towards me. I caught myself and paused, looking at the ground. She touched my face, turning it to look at her, and whispered, "It's okay."

And I kissed her, impulsively at first, and then harder as I felt her respond. We moved, ending up with her on the bed and me over top of her. I paused, my pent up emotions spilling out.

"Raven, I want you. Every part of me wants you in a way that is base and low and terrible, and-"

"Robin, it doesn't matter. We can be low and base and terrible together in the dark where no one can see, and ourselves in the daytime can be shiny and clean. Everyone keeps their secrets. You and I should know best of all. But that doesn't make us bad people."

I was breathing hard. "I don't love you."

She smiled at me, and I couldn't tell if the smile was quiet and serene or more like a smirk; if she was understanding or slightly smug. "I don't care."

And so there we were the next morning, when we heard our friends up and moving, getting ready for the day. There we were, lying together in the early morning. I heard her get up, get dressed and phase through the floor so no one would know. And there we were, eating breakfast, acting like nothing had changed, when, in reality, things would never be the same.

_*End Flashback*_


	3. Under Attack

**A/N:** This one is from Raven's POV. I didn't have it like that originally so if there's a POV mistake can you please let me know?

Disclaimer: Don't own the Titans.

It was another early morning. I sat on the rooftop of the tower, lost in thought. I liked being with Robin, but I did not love him. I wasn't, I felt, capable of really loving someone in the way that they are the only thing that matters. I cared about my friends, but that was different than love.

I knew that Robin was ashamed of me and our relationship. I also knew that he would never tell me this, because he would be afraid that it would hurt me. I had mixed thoughts on this. I was sure that he would never give me the title of proper girlfriend. It would probably go to someone like Starfire, long after my relationship with him had ended. I also figured that this was a secret we'd both take to the grave. He would be too embarrassed to tell anyone, and I would not destroy his image by revealing our secret.

"Hey Raven, what's up?" Cyborg's voice broke through my thoughts. "I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"No, I was just going inside." I replied, unsure of whether to be annoyed by his intrusion or glad that he had interrupted my questionable train of thought.

"Before you go, look at that sunrise! Lemme tell you, this is going to be a beautiful day!"

I glanced out over the horizon. "Yeah… I suppose so."

_*Later that day*_

I was in my room meditating when I heard the alarm go off. I snapped out of my trance and raced to the main room, flipping my hood up along the way.

"What's going on?" I asked impatiently. The others stood, gathered around a screen showing a map of the city.

Robin answered without turning his head. "Slade's back."

Cyborg spoke, obviously tense. "I've located his position. Let's go!"

"Titans, move!" Robin yelled, and I followed my teammates out of the tower.

We soon arrived at an abandoned warehouse with gears turning and cranking. _Man, what is with Slade and gears?_ I thought to myself.

"Hello, Titans. So nice of you to join me." Slade's eerie voice rose above the clanking of the gears. He was standing above them, leaning against a support pole on a catwalk, just as scarily confident as ever. With some villains, their confidence was all bluster and they were easily defeated. Slade's confidence came from his seemingly complete control over events.

Robin shouted out, "Titans, go!" and we all moved into formation. Beast Boy attacked first, turning into a hawk and flying up to meet Slade on the catwalk. Slade started running, and I could tell the confidence it was giving Beast Boy as he turned into a bull. Slade stopped at the end of the walk as Beast Boy charged at him. We were all shocked at what happened next. Slade grabbed Beast Boy by the horns, only sliding backwards a little. He threw Beast Boy into a wall on the other side of the warehouse.

"So he's been working out." Cyborg scoffed. "That doesn't mean we still can't kick his sorry butt!"

With that, Cyborg ran at Slade, firing his sonic cannon, hitting Slade directly in the chest and knocking him into a wall. "Boo-yah!" Cyborg cried. His celebration was short lived. Slade jumped up and ran at Cyborg, slapping a small bomb on his chest and rocketing him out of the warehouse.

Now Slade ran deeper into the warehouse, but not before attacking and taking out Starfire. Robin called out her name and started to run after her when Slade said,

"Come now Robin, she'll be fine. Isn't it me that you're after?" With that, he ran farther into the warehouse, with Robin chasing right behind. On his way out a door, Slade stuck another small bomb on the wall, causing it to collapse. I dodged it and phased through. I realized that Slade was trying to get Robin alone. I was not worried that Slade would kill him or do much physical damage, but I did know that he could cause great psychological damage to Robin, and so I flew faster.

I arrived in another room with gears just in time to see Slade kick Robin across the room. I caught Robin with her powers and lowered him gently to the floor. Then, I started throwing tiles off the floor at him.

"You know, Slade, we're all sick of seeing you. How about we make this the last time we meet?" I said as I hurled a giant pipe at him. My face turned to shock as he caught the pipe, and fear as it came flying back towards me. As everything turned black, my last thought was _Don't let him hurt Robin._


	4. Broken and Changed

**A/N:** This one starts in Robin's POV. Sorry I haven't updated in awhile… I'm busy… need to stop complaining haha…

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans

"RAVEN!" I heard myself scream her name as the pipe took out her and the entire wall behind her, bringing the whole wall down on her small body. I felt trapped. Slade was standing there, smirking through his mask, but Raven could be badly hurt. As I looked at the pile of rocks where Raven had been just seconds ago, I could feel rage building through my own body. Unable to contain it any longer, I struck out in blind fury at the one who had done this.

"Ah, so you're going for me? You're furious that I've hurt all your friends. How could I do a thing like this?" Slade taunted me while dodging my attacks. "You know, Robin, I don't think that's how heroes are supposed to work, on raw anger."

Grunting with frustration, I finally connected and kicked Slade across the abandoned warehouse. Slade stood up, and then we faced off, neither of us moving.

"You have many secrets, don't you, Robin? You can't keep them all hidden, you know. No matter how you try to lock them up, inside a safe or even inside yourself, they can't stay there forever."

I interrupted. "I'm not here for a morality lesson, especially from you. I don't want to listen to your crazy speeches."

"But are they really crazy, Robin? Or are they just hitting too close to home?"

I was done standing around listening to Slade ramble like this. I attacked, slamming at Slade with my staff. Slade caught it and threw it into the dark of the warehouse.

"We all know the hero image you project to the world, Robin. The goody-goody, I suppose one would call it. You can show the world that face all you like. But you know that you can't hide the truth from yourself. It's like I said before, the truth will always come out." He seemingly smirked again, and then charged straight towards me.

_-Raven's POV First-Person-_

A shock of pure emotion rushed though me, startling me awake. I could feel the rocks all around me and I knew I was hurt, but the raw, painful emotion blocked out everything else. _Come on, fight it!_ I tried to push it away, when I realized I was feeling for Robin, and he needed my help.

I forced myself to push through the onrushing pain and blasted the rocks off myself, only to see that I was too late. Robin was lying on the ground, and Slade was nowhere to be found. One of my legs felt like it was broken, so I tried to levitate myself over to Robin. I barely hovered over the ground, but I reached him.

"Robin… please be okay." I whispered as I collapsed on the ground next to him. He was lying face down, and I gently turned him over. I mean, I didn't want to hurt him any further. He was still breathing, and I sighed with relief. However, the situation was still dangerous. He needed medical help, and I was much too weak to fly myself anywhere, much less with him in tow._ Maybe I can call the others._ I reached for my communicator, but it was missing. I looked for Robin's communicator on his utility belt, but it was gone as well.

"Shit, Robin, what are we going to do?" I asked, despairing of the situation. I knew that he wouldn't answer, he was still out, but it made me feel a little better. I looked down at his bruised and scratched up face. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

He cracked a weak smile. "It's okay, Raven. We'll find a way."

"Robin! I-I didn't realize you were awake."

"Yeah. So how are we going to get out of here?" He asked. He probably had a plan. He always did.

"I don't know. I'm too weak to levitate and our communicators are gone."

"Well, I suppose we'll walk."

"Robin… I think my leg is broken."

He looked at me, deeply concerned. I was surprised that he was so worried about me. "Okay, I'll carry you."

"Carry me?! There's no way you can do that; you're just as hurt as I am!" I protested.

"No, no, it'll be fine. It's not that far."

"Okay, so how are we going to get across the water to the island that the Tower is on?" I asked, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"We'll figure something out. Come on." He moved to get up, but faltered and could not push himself up.

"Look, I may be too weak to fly, but maybe I can heal you up first, and then you'll be able to walk. You can go to the Tower and come back for me."

"I'd appreciate you healing me, but you're wrong if you think I'd leave you here by yourself." He smiled at me, with some effort.

"Fine. Now come here so I can help you." He inched over, and I could tell it was hurting him just moving this little distance. He must've been crazy to think he could've carried me to the Tower like this. It was no wonder he hadn't been able to get up; his arm was fractured. It was only a simple one, however, and before long I had it healed up. I stopped a couple of the bad cuts from bleeding. He sat up, and I ripped a piece of my cloak off and tied it around a wound in his chest as a makeshift bandage. "Your shirt's almost completely gone. What exactly were you doing?" I asked.

He chuckled, but looked away and didn't answer.

"There, I'm done."

He looked down at his wounds, and then smiled gratefully at me. "Thanks, Raven." He said.

I looked away so he wouldn't see me blush. "No problem."

"Okay, then." He grunted and stood, pausing before scooping me up. "Let's go."

_Well, this should be interesting_


	5. Struggles

**A/N: ** Thanks for all of the reviews! It is so nice to hear from people about my story. I don't like this chapter very much, but it gets better later… so maybe just scratch this one off and wait for the others… they'll be better.

So we struggled our way across the city. It was late at night and there was no one around. I don't think we saw a single person on that trek from the warehouse to the Tower. We reached the dock, but not without great effort from Robin. He was still weak despite my best attempts at healing him. Whenever I could feel him getting tired, I would insist on a rest, knowing that he would never allow himself one voluntarily.

It was strange, having him carry me. I wasn't used to having vulnerable, weak moments where I needed to be carried, and in that way it was uncomfortable. I don't like feeling vulnerable and in need of help. I like to see myself as a strong person who can handle things on their own, without help from others. In another sense, though, I felt safe. I did trust Robin, and I knew that he wouldn't let me get hurt, at least not willingly.

My thoughts were interrupted when we reached the dock. The Tower was in sight, but across a body of water.

"So whose great idea was it to build the Tower on an island?" I joked weakly. He smiled, with effort, and then laid me down on the dock before collapsing there himself. "Robin, I'm feeling stronger. I think I can try to fly us over to the Tower. It's not very far-"

He cut me off. "No way. You're too weak."

"Well, last time I checked, you can't walk on water. We have to get over there somehow."

He laid there in silence for a moment. "Fine. You can fly over to the Tower and come back and get help."

I smirked at him, repeating what he had said to me earlier. "You're wrong if you'd think I'd leave you here by yourself." I could tell by his smile that he had relented. "Okay, here we go." I mumbled, still lying on the dock. I concentrated hard, blocking every distraction out, focusing on levitating myself off the dock. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…" I felt the cold dampness of the dock slip away, and I had done it.

"Nice job." Robin said, sitting up.

Muttering, "Thanks" I flew slowly over to him and picked him up by his arms. "Are you ready?" He nodded, and we headed out over the water. The first bit wasn't too bad, really, but by the halfway point I could feel my concentration slipping. _Come on, come on. Control!_

"Raven!" Robin's call snapped me back to reality, and I realized we had lost altitude, and his feet were dipping into the waves. I fought to fly higher, and with effort, reached it. "Okay, that's better." He said. I could feel shame throughout me for that loss of control. "Hey, don't worry about it." I hadn't said anything but he was still reassuring me. "I wouldn'tve been able to cross at all." He looked up at me gratefully.

After what seemed like ages, we finally made to the Tower, exhausted. Cyborg opened the port bay.

"Hey, what took you guys so long- oh…" He trailed off as he looked at our wounds and the matching glares on our faces. "Crap… uh… I'll get you guys to sick bay right away. Hey, Star!" He ran off, looking for assistance.

"Yeah, I think going to the sick bay would be a good idea." I said, seething underneath my sarcastic exterior.

Cyborg returned immediately with two gurneys and Starfire in tow. She gasped.

"Friends! You are injured! This is terrible!"

Cyborg was helping us onto the gurneys. "Not now, Star. Just help me get them to the sick bays. Worrying out here doesn't help."

I could tell that she felt scolded by what Cyborg had said, but he was in a hurry, and he wasn't thinking that she would be hurt.

When we arrived at the sick bay, Cyborg started setting up the medical equipment. "You guys need to rest. Go to sleep while I analyze your injuries." We both put up weak protests, but knew that he was right. Soon I found myself drifting off into the dark cloud of sleep.


	6. Questions

**A/N:** Sorry this one is really short. Like super-duper short. I'm sorry.

Robin was sulking around. I could tell, ever since the fight with Slade, he had become more moody, and was spending more time in the gym than he normally did. (which was already a lot of time) I wasn't sure if any of the others had noticed. Even if they had, they wouldn't really confront him about it. They'd ask why he didn't want to hang out as much, but they wouldn't press the issue. I needed to. I just couldn't leave our team with an uncommunicative leader, that's all.

I found him sitting on the roof, staring out at the setting sun. "Hey." I said softly.

It took him a little while to shake out of his reverie, and when he finally did, he was surprised to see me. "Oh- Raven… what are you doing here? Come to watch the sunset?" He asked, and I could tell he was trying to steer the conversation into small talk about the weather or something stupid.

"No. I came here to talk to you." I replied, seeing straight through his leading question.

"Oh." He was surprised again.

"Slade said something to you, didn't he?"

I had shocked him again, I thought, chuckling to myself.

He answered. "Slade's always saying things."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"What do you mean, then?" Robin asked defensively. It was so obvious he didn't want to talk about it, which made it obvious he was hiding something.

"I mean that Slade said something to upset you, didn't he?"

"Maybe." He grumbled. "You should stop worrying about me. You need to take better care of yourself. You could've been killed out there." He looked at me intently.

"Me?" It was my turn to be surprised. "Robin, what are you talking about?" He had succeeded in changing the topic, but I didn't care so much because I wanted to understand what he was thinking.

He started gesturing angrily. "You need to be more careful! You almost got crushed by a wall! You-"

I cut him off. "This is what we do, Robin. All of us get hurt, but we train and prepare so we're okay. Why does this upset you so much? I don't understand." It was my turn to study him, trying to read his face. I could read his emotions, but that wasn't entirely ethical.

"Nothing. Never mind."

I sat down next to him, saying nothing. After a while, he spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Raven, I was just, well, worried about you I guess." He had calmed down now.

I gave him a small smile. "It's okay." He stood, and then offered his hand to help me up.

"It is a beautiful summer sunset, though."

I regarded it, still trying to understand what he had been trying to say. "Yes."

He was still holding my hand as we walked back inside the Tower, and I knew where we were headed long before we entered his bedroom.


	7. Discovery

**A/N:** I'm back! Finally updating! Sorry that this is so short, especially after a long break… but I hope you like it anyway! I seem to always be apologizing for the length, don't I? Maybe I should try to do something about it -_-

~~Robin's POV~~

I knew she suspected that something was up with me and that I was acting strange, but I didn't expect her to be so spot-on in the guess of Slade. In retrospect, I should've known. It's obvious that he can really get to me, and I'd been acting weird ever since then.

But honestly, I was more bothered by my almost-loss of Raven than I was by Slade's comments. I was worried that Slade knew more than he should, but I was careful and not stupid. I wasn't new to this, after all. When Raven was talking to me on the roof, I realized how much I would miss her if she was gone; as a friend even more than as a lover. It was so hard, though, I mean, the sex was easy, but anything else was too complicated.

Still, I wanted to spend time with her. Maybe we'll do something tomorrow, other than just sex. _We always seem to end up here anyway_. I thought ruefully.

That morning I got up early and slipped out of bed without waking her. I knew that the others all had plans today, so I could follow through on the promise I had made to myself last night. I fixed a cup of tea for Raven and a cup of coffee for myself before heading back to the room.

When I arrived she was already awake. Eyeing the tea, she raised her eyebrow. "What are you feeling guilty about?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to do something nice. All the others are out today."

She sat up and took the cup from me, sipping it. "Oh yes, that's right. I forgot."

I set my coffee down. "I need a shower."

"I need one too." She said suddenly."Want to conserve water?"

I smiled at her. "Sounds like a plan to me."

We went out for a walk around the city. It was a blisteringly hot late summer day, and Raven soon asked to stop under a bench in the park. We sat silently for a few minutes. I noticed some children playing on a playground not far away.

"That's cute." I remarked.

"Hmm?" I pointed them out to her. "Yeah, yeah they are cute." She had a soft, almost wistful look on her face.

I tilted my head to look at her. "What's the matter?"

She looked down. "Oh, it's nothing."

"Come on, tell me."

"Oh, okay. I was just watching those kids, and, well, I never got to do that. My childhood was full of training to help me control my powers. I didn't get that release or anything." She paused. "I told you it wasn't important."

"I think it is. Look, they're leaving. Do you want to go over?"

She was unsure. "Should we- I mean…"

"There's no one else around."

"Well, maybe we can go take a look."

"Okay." I agreed, not believing that she would actually follow through and play on the playground. We walked up and Raven started circling the playground. "You should try the swing. It's like flying."

"I can fly."

I blushed. "Oh yeah-"

She cut me off. "So I'll be the best judge of whether or not it's actually like flying."

I grinned, taking off. "Race you there!"


	8. Growing Pains

**A/N:** This chapter is going to involve the events in the episode "Birthmark" and most of the Trigon arc will be used in this story. Spoiler alert I suppose.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

"Thanks, Robin. I-I had a lot of fun today. It was really nice of you to take me out and let me have that release." Raven reached up and kissed me before walking back towards her room. The others were due back any minute.

I flopped on my bed, flabbergasted. I could not believe that I had spent the entire afternoon playing on a playground with Raven. Raven, of all people! It was really amazing, that she trusted me enough to let her guard down like that. I suppose she had when we slept together, but this was something much different and deeper, even if it seemed so simple.

I had learned something about her. Something else about her that I knew that no one else did. I smiled to myself. I had been right. Swinging was very similar to flying, after all.

~~Raven's POV~~

The door shut behind me and I leaned against the dark wall and slid to the floor. Today had been an amazing day. Maybe I had been wrong about how Robin felt about me. Today, he hadn't seemed ashamed of me. He hadn't done anything huge, but he had taken me out in public just the two of us and he had listened to me. Most importantly, he had cared.

I was unsure of what to feel. I was afraid of a serious relationship. I have some trust issues, yeah, I admit it. Would I be able to be with him in a way that was more than we were now? I wasn't sure. But it seemed like I was about to find out.

I was. We spent the next months together, in between "friends with benefits" and "official" from that end of August through September and October. Before I knew it, November had snuck up on me. I was enjoying my time with Robin, so I was shocked when I turned over the calendar and saw that the month was December.

_Frick. December means my birthday._

~~Robin's POV~~

Beast Boy had snuck into the Titans main computer and found Raven's birthday. I didn't approve of his method, but I was glad to know it hadn't passed. She had seemed like a December birthday. I also wasn't sure if the surprise birthday party was a good idea, especially as she seemed even more reclusive than normal as her birthday approached. She was avoiding me more as well, and I wasn't sure why. Hopefully the party would go well and all would be solved.

Starfire flew down to Raven's room and knocked before slipping away. Beast Boy and Starfire kept giggling and Cyborg kept shushing them. We heard her enter and popped out, shouting "Surprise!"

Well, she was surprised all right, but not in a good way. She refused the party, angrily, and left. I went after her.

"Raven, please tell me what's wrong. Let me understand you." I pleaded with her.

She seemed sadder, much sadder than normal when she answered. "Robin, there are some places in my mind where no one should go."

I wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, and I still wasn't sure when I saw Slade return and attack her. I could see the pure fear in her eyes, a look that I had never seen in Raven before. Sometimes she got a little frightened or maybe nervous, but never outright fear. But I pushed all of those concerns out of my mind and focused on what was most important to me at that moment- keeping Raven safe.

I wished that Slade would start attacking me, despite the numerous problems he had caused me. I would have done anything to get him to stop chasing Raven and turn his attacks on me. I couldn't understand why he was attacking Raven and how on earth he had returned, from what was almost certain death.

I tried so hard to protect her, I really did. But Slade had grown so much more powerful, and I couldn't stop his attacks forever. When Slade tossed her off the building, body covered in red and uniform ripped, I almost couldn't look at her, hating myself for not preventing it. But I smiled at her kindly because I knew that she needed it, and she wouldn't want to deal with my inner struggles.

But all that evening I sat up, hating Slade for daring to hurt Raven and hating myself for failing to stop it.

.


	9. Revelations

**A/N:** Raven's POV, spoiler alert of "The Prophecy"

Disclaimer: Don't own the Titans.

I sat in my room, shaking as I took the now-ruined uniform off, throwing it in the trash can. I knew that this was coming, but I had been trying to deny it. It was beginning, and they would find out. They would hate me, and they would leave me. I covered my eyes with my hand and took a deep breath.

"There's still time. I don't have to tell them yet." I sighed. I would treasure the time I had left and I would have to accept their rejection when it came. I put on a new uniform and sighed, turning my attention to the mess of hair. I pulled out a pair of scissors and carefully snipped away until every physical reminder of what had taken place earlier was gone.

I didn't mind the second attempt at the surprise party because I wanted to save this time I had with them and store it up in my heart for later, when everything would be gone. I appreciated Robin's concern and understanding, but I couldn't tell him anything. I didn't want to face his rejection as well, so, like Trigon's coming, I tried to pretend it wouldn't happen.

That night I went to his room, asking just to spend the night to "feel safer." I knew that he would be furious about his bitter enemy after his secret weakness, so I really went to reassure him that I was still here, at least for now. I could tell by the way he held me that night that it made him feel strong, like he was protecting me. I tried to push that out of my mind, because even he would not be able to protect me from Trigon.

Robin spent days going over tapes and searching databases, fascinated and tortured by the symbol on Slade's forehead. I could tell him easily; I knew it all too well. Even though I knew it, however, I was unable to tell him. Every night, he spent just holding me. I could tell he wasn't sleeping, but my presence comforted him, so I stayed.

"Robin's losing it." Cyborg informed me one day in mid January.

"You think?" I replied, and immediately regretted sounding so sarcastic. "I mean, he's a detective as much as a crime fighter. He hates losing battles, and he hates being stumped by a deduction problem. He's using every resource at his disposal, and Slade's still winning."

"I think he's losing it because Slade's after you."

I raised my eyebrow at this. "What makes you think that?" I asked, making sure to keep my tone measured and unemotional.

"Well, you guys are really close friends, and Robin can't stand having his friends hurt." Cyborg reasoned.

"What about Terra?"

He wrinkled his brow. "That's different. Terra and Robin weren't close. She wasn't a full member of the team, and she was plotting against us. Slade's after you for no reason."

I snorted almost imperceptibly. "Yeah, no reason." I whispered.

Cyborg didn't catch it. "Well, anyway, maybe you should try to talk to him before we have to strap him down again or something."

"I'll do my best."

So, that night, as he was getting ready for bed, I said, "Robin, can you promise me something?"

He whirled around. "Of course, what is it?"

I smirked. "Well, I wouldn't be so eager about it until you hear what it is. Just… can you promise me that you'll get some sleep tonight?"

"Raven, I can't! I mean, Slade might come back at any moment, and-"

I reached up and touched his arm. "You're no help if you're tired and sluggish. Slade isn't going to burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night. That would be creepy."He laughed, but I continued. "Please Robin, for me?"

He relented. "All right, I'll try to sleep."

I smiled at him. "Thank you."

It had been a good night to get Robin to sleep. For the very next evening, Slade came back. They were going to discover my secret, I knew it. I had to escape; I had to find another way. So, while my poor friends were fighting off demon ghosts in a secret labyrinth, I was running away to Azarath, seeking my last hope.

The city was empty. It was quiet and lonely, and so very dead. I finally spotted a sign of life- a flock of doves. I followed them across the city, and they led me to Arella. She was my last chance. My relationship with my mother was… complicated, to say the least. She had been raped when I was conceived, and I was half-demon, so I most certainly was not her pride and joy. However, she cared for me, and she didn't want to see me bring Trigon to Earth, so I came to her for help.

"Arella, Mother, please help me."

"I'm so sorry, Raven, but nothing can be done. You've known that all your life." She reminded me gently.

"I know- but, I was hoping…"

"Don't." She said, her voice thick with sadness. "Earth will be lost, just as Azarath was lost."

"No!" I cried out. "No…" I had destroyed my first home, and I was headed for the second."There's no hope."

"There's never been any hope."

I went back to Earth, just focused on helping my friends. I would save them, and then I would tell them. I should've known, however, that Robin had already figured out the gist of the prophecy. He was the detective, after all, and he had (correctly) deduced that the gem mentioned in the prophecy was not a stone at all, but rather was me, Raven.

I knew they were shocked to hear him say that, and I knew they were even more shocked when I kicked Slade's butt into next week, but nothing could prepare them for the shock of the final revelation. The revelation that I was the daughter of the evil incarnate, and that I was going to destroy the world. However, as shocked as they were by all of this, I was equally shocked at their reaction. They said, "Oh, we'll fight, and we'll try our hardest, for you."

What had I ever done to deserve that? They didn't throw me out on the street, rather, they promised to face my problem as if it was their own. It moved me deeply.

Robin came to my room, not long after I had excused myself, as I knew he would.

"Raven, can I come in?"

"Sure." I replied, not getting up from my bed. He entered quietly and sat down in a chair next to me.

"Raven… I'm sorry. I wish that I could stop this."

I smiled at him sadly. "It means a lot that you would even want to."

He looked at me, slightly confused. "Of course I would want to, Raven. You're my friend."

"Thanks. I just… look, don't get your hopes up about stopping the end of the world or saving me. The best thing that you can do for me is to make the time we have left the best it can be."

"Don't talk like that, Raven. Don't say, 'the time we have left.' Because I don't believe it, and I won't believe it. You may believe it, but I don't want you to. There's always some hope." He held my hands. I said nothing, so he continued. "I-I just wish that you had been able to tell me this. I guess I'm not as good a confidante as I thought I was."

"No, Robin, it's not exactly something that you bring up in daily conversation, or at all. People aren't normally very receptive to the half-demons. I was honestly surprised that everyone's been so understanding, no offense."

"Well, I have to take a little offense, because I feel like I can understand and that you can trust me. Do you feel that way?" I could feel his eyes piercing into me from behind his mask.

"Yes, I can trust you, but this was something so big, so secret and so horrendous that I just-"

"Don't underestimate us, Raven." He said, before leaning in to kiss me.


	10. I Have to Say Goodbye

**A/N:** This is going to contain spoilers from the three part episode "The End" also; I changed it a little bit. Heck, I don't think the writers were thinking Raven and Robin were doing shenanigans behind the scenes, so I think I can mess with events.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

It was an early spring March day when the End came. Trigon had been courteous enough to give the world a beautiful last day.

I cursed my birth when I woke up that morning, every inch of my skin glowing with the ugly red inscriptions. Today would be the day. If today was the day, I would make it perfect for my friends, so that they would not have to suffer because of me, but would rather have their last memories be enjoyable.

This was my mindset when I stepped out on the roof to enjoy the sunrise. _My last sunrise. _This was to be a day of reverse milestones, I thought. My last breakfast, my last book… no, I would not count these things, I decided when I heard Robin step onto the roof.

"You're up early." He said.

"So are you." I countered.

"Well, I'm just enjoying the beautiful sunrise. It looks like today is shaping up to be a great day." He stretched.

"I-I suppose so." I said weakly. I looked over at him, his face seemingly perfect in the sweet morning light. I inhaled deeply so as not to cry, and leaned over and kissed him. I knew that he was surprised; I rarely initiated kisses, especially in an area with any chance of discovery. And as I pulled away, I couldn't help but think _this is probably my last kiss._

~~Robin's POV~~

I was amazed. Today was probably going to be great. Raven seemed the best she had seen in weeks. Getting up early, enjoying the sunrise, kissing me spontaneously, yep, things were looking up. Maybe she had turned some sort of corner, and she was feeling more optimistic. It had been awhile since we had last seen Slade, and although I wasn't expecting everything to blow over, maybe she knew something good that I didn't.

She was even offering to cook breakfast! I could feel it; things were going to be better.

~~Raven's POV~~

I knew my friends were suspicious about my substantially changed demeanor, but I felt like they were enjoying it too much to really question it. While I was happy that they were happy, this also saddened me. I guess they prefer the cheery me to the normal me. It didn't matter, since I only needed to keep them happy for today.

Suddenly, however, when we were in the park, I felt a shadow over me and my body turned ice cold. I could feel my face drain of color. Was that shout from me when the eclipse happened, revealing the markings and the nature of the day? The shout seemed to come from somewhere else, so far away, and I began to cry.

I could see Robin over me, holding my head in his hands, questioning _Is today the day? Is today the day?_ And all I could do was nod in response and weep. I had failed my friends and their happiness. I had failed.

~~Robin's POV~~

It was today. That's why she had wanted to have such a nice day. I shook my head at the irony of my comment this morning about the beautiful day. I led her to the safe room we all had built specifically for her. We would all protect her to the last, I knew.

I watched her meditate in the room and I was gripped by anger and sadness. Anger that Raven had to go through this, and anger that I couldn't help her through it, and sadness because of how small she looked, floating in the air by herself. I don't know how she expected to go through this alone, but I know that I won't let it happen. No matter what, I will fight to the end to protect Raven.

Trigon was right. He was always right. I could feel all of my friends suffering, especially Robin. It wasn't right! It's not how I wanted it to end! I wanted them to stay out of it; I didn't want them to get hurt. I had long accepted that I would not live long past this 16th birthday, so I had come to terms with the death that awaited me. I had not, however, prepared for the deaths of my friends. I would not let that happen.

I had been told all of my life that I would destroy everything. Absolutely everything. I was to be the portal for Trigon; conceived only to bring him to power, and to be destroyed when I was not longer needed. People had often talked about the future, but it had meant nothing to me, for I had always had a short, definite end on my life.

I did not want that for my friends, however. They deserved better, and I would not let them destroy themselves for me. That's why I left the Tower of my own free will, it's why I knocked the other Titans out with a flick of my wrist, and it's why I ended up where I always knew I would, in Trigon's lair, ready to become the portal.

My destiny was inevitable, and I would rather have it come to pass of my own free will rather than through the deaths of my closest friends. They did not understand this, and this is why they came to me, one last time, pleading with me not to go. They had not had this prophecy drilled into their heads since birth, so it was only logical that they wouldn't understand.

"Raven, friend, you cannot leave us!"

"Raven!" "Don't go!" "Please, Raven."

I set up a wall with my powers to prevent them from stopping me. I could hear them attacking it, but it was futile. I walked up the steps to the place I was destined to go.

"Raven…" Amid the sounds of the attacks on the walls, I heard a small, desperate cry. I stopped and turned around, locking eyes with Robin. I could see his desperation through his mask. "Raven, before you go… everything-everything I said that night…" He paused, and I could see that he was crying. He inhaled deeply and burst out. "It was all a lie!"

"_Raven, I want you. Every part of me wants you in a way that is base and low and terrible, and- I don't love you."_

I smiled at him sadly, and I could see that it made him cry harder. "I know, Robin." I continued up the steps and sat, and the last thing I saw was him, and I could feel the tear fall off my cheek before everything faded to black.


	11. Loss

**A/N:** This is a continued 'spoiler' for the 3 part episode "The End" Just warning you so no one yells at me for ruining it for them. Thanks for reviewing! Robin's POV

Disclaimer: Do not own the Titans.

I tried to force myself to look away, but I was riveted, unable to tear my eyes away from Raven as she levitated, chanting and then screaming as a white light burst through her, swallowing her up. And just like that, she was gone.

The events of the next few minutes were lost to me, but when I finally regained my senses I was alone in the desolate city. I supposed that I had been launched by the blast and ended up here. Did it even matter? She was gone.

"Raven…" I whispered, burying my face in my hands and trying so hard not to cry even more. After a few minutes I stood, no longer sad, but angry.

"Why?" I screamed to the world. "Why did she have to go? Why did she leave us? Why couldn't I protect her?" I shouted, furious at the world and furious at myself. I kicked at windows and knocked over streetlamps.

"I should've protected her!" _Wham._

"I should've saved her!" _Crash._

"I could've saved her!" _Smash._

"Now she's dead!" I stopped, suddenly. Was she dead? No, it was impossible. Raven couldn't be dead, could she? No! It was a lie! I-I wouldn't believe it! She wasn't dead, she wasn't dead!

I slumped to my knees, covering my eyes, trying to block out the image that was seared into my brain. Raven, screaming, consumed by that horrible light-

"NO!" I howled. "RAVEN'S NOT DEAD!"

I was sobbing again, despite my best efforts to keep the tears under control. "She's dead." I wept, shaking. "She's dead." I whispered it to myself.

"SHE'S DEAD!" I cried out to the dead and unfeeling city. I hugged my knees to my chest, burying my face in them, wishing that when I raised my head and opened my eyes the city would be alive and Raven would be standing there, saying,

"Are you okay, Robin?"

"Raven?" I lifted my head, and I saw her there, as clear as day. I leapt to my feet. "I knew it! I knew it couldn't be true! I knew you weren't dead." I rushed to embrace her. "I knew-" But when I tried to touch her she vanished like she had never been there at all.

I loved Raven. I knew that now. I just wished that I had realized it before she died, and although I been able to tell her that I was lying that night, I didn't tell her that I loved her. I didn't tell her that, to me, she had become so much more than a friend or a lover. She was someone that I wanted on a deeper level than I had ever thought I would, way back in August when I first saw her as more than a friend. It was more complicated, feeling this way, but I didn't care. All I wanted was Raven. I wanted to hold her close and tell her that I loved her and that I was so sorry that I had let this happen.

But I would never get that chance. For she really was dead, and I really had let it happen. I knew I would never forgive myself for this. The only thing to do was to fight on in memory of Raven, and to hope that in trying to defeat Trigon, I could redeem myself.

"She is dead, but I will never forget her." I whispered, letting one last tear find its way down my cheek before heading out to look for the others.

I had pulled myself together well enough that the other Titans suspected nothing out of the ordinary about me. Raven had given us some of her power, a farewell gift and a formidable weapon against Trigon, or so we had thought. We had risen up, linked together and attacked Trigon with Raven's power like it was the dramatic conclusion to a movie. But it had failed, miserably.

Slade. I was still cursing him for what he had done to Raven, but when he revealed that Raven was _not_ dead, it was all I could do to keep my composure and not run around like a crazed person. I volunteered to go with him, naturally. If Raven was alive, I had to find her. Starfire hugged me, and I understood that she was worried that she would never see me or Raven ever again.

I followed Slade into a deep cavern with a river of lava and designs resembling Raven's hood holding torches on the wall. _I suppose this is how Orpheus felt_, I mused. (1)

"I guess this is hell." I muttered, not expecting Slade to hear.

"It's as close as you'll ever find on Earth." Slade responded, narrowing his eyes.

Slade was getting something for himself out of this trip; I wasn't sure what. I really didn't care about Slade, for once. I just wanted to find Raven. After what seemed like ages, Slade stopped.

"This is where you get off." He said, unceremoniously. "I'm off to get what I have lost as well."

I stepped out of the boat and walked into the cavern. "Raven! Raven!" I called. I heard no answer, but I saw a small flash of white movement out of the corner of my eye. "Raven?" It was a small figure dressed all in white, and running from me. As I gained on it, I noticed it was wearing a white cloak, similar to Raven's. As it tripped and fell, its hood slipped from its head. It was then that I realized it was a little girl with violet hair and deep eyes of amethyst. She could not get up, and I approached.

"Raven." I sighed. It was Raven; only, she was a little girl of only about eight or nine. She was afraid of me. "Raven, it's me, Robin." I looked at her, concerned, noting the lack of recognition in her eyes.

"I-I don't know you." Her voice was soft and faltering.

"My name is Robin. I'm here to help you."

"What are you going to do?" She asked. I could feel the anxiety in her tone.

"I want to take you out of here, to a place with friends."

"I-I'm not sure."

I smiled at her, sincere and kind. "Trust me." I reached out my hand, and, to my relief, she took it.

(1) Orpheus is a reference to a story in Greek mythology. Orpheus was marrying a woman named Eurydice, when, at the wedding she was bitten by a snake and died. Orpheus traveled to the underworld and by his music softened the hearts of Hades who agreed to allow Eurydice to return with him to earth on one condition: he should walk in front of her and not look back until they both had reached the upper world. He set off with Eurydice following and in his anxiety as soon as he reached the upper world he turned to look at her, forgetting that both needed to be in the upper world, and she vanished for the second time, but now forever.

It's a very sad story. I knew it vaguely, but got the details and the well-written synopsis from Wikipedia.


	12. Rebirth

**A/N:** How about I just tell you when it stops being a spoiler for "The End"? This one is really long because I didn't want it to stretch out into many more chapters. Raven's POV

Disclaimer: don't own the Teen Titans…

Robin. After he told me a story about a girl named Raven, I began to remember. It was a vague remembrance, like I had been in a dream. The dream was over, and I was in literal hell, useless and hopeless.

He claimed that all wasn't lost and that he would find a way, but I didn't believe him. Oh, I knew that he wasn't lying to me, but I also knew it couldn't be done. The prophecy had been drilled into my head, and it had transcended the dream. Robin didn't understand the finality that was the prophecy, but then, he hadn't grown up knowing it. I couldn't expect him to fully understand.

Still, I was shocked when I saw him and some other friends attacking Trigon and _hurting_ him. All my life I had grown up knowing that Trigon was invincible, and I would never be able to stop him. The amazement quickly faded and turned into horror when I witnessed Trigon blast them with all his power. I rushed to Robin's side, not caring about any tears, just willing with all my heart that he would get up. "Please get up! Robin! Please…"

He was still motionless, and I turned to face Trigon, who was laughing at me, my frailty and that of my friends. I shut my eyes tight. I would not let this demon hurt Robin, who had saved me when I was so lost. I didn't really care about what happened to me. I fought to gather any power I might have left, and as I concentrated on my emotions, I could feel myself transforming, growing older and more powerful.

I smiled to myself, opening my eyes and seeing white energy glowing around my hands. "I've had quite enough of you." I spoke, addressing Trigon, blasting him with a shot of pure white light.

He stumbled backwards. Even all-seeing Trigon was taken aback by my sudden transformation and subsequent power. I smiled again, confident. "I won't let you control me anymore." I continued blasting him. "I have friends, and they make me stronger. I can control you."

I levitated high above the ground. "I can defeat you."

I released all of the energy and power inside of me. The world was bathed in a white light, and I could feel Trigon evaporate. I felt the cities return, I felt the people turn back to flesh and blood, and, landing on the ground, I felt Robin's hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't help myself, I rushed into his arms. "Thank you." I said. "You had hope when I had none, and without your strength I never could've beaten him."

He smiled at me, and then all of my other friends rushed to hug me.

"Friend! It is so joyous to see you again!" Starfire crushed me into a hug.

"Nice job, Raven." Cyborg said.

"We're all glad to have you back, Raven!"

I smiled. "Thank you all. My strength today came from you."

"Let's go home." Robin said, an indescribable look on his face.

~~Robin's POV~~

Raven returned to her room to rest and presumably cut her hair. After a short while I went to see her. I knocked on the door tentatively.

"Hey Robin." She greeted me. She had been expecting me, I could tell. "You can come in." She was halfway done cutting her hair, which had grown long when she transformed. I liked it, but I knew she couldn't stand long hair. I sat there for awhile in silence, just watching her, and reveling in the fact that she was here with me. She said nothing about my presence, which I appreciated. When she finished, she set the scissors down and stood, turning to look at me. I stood, and in two steps I was holding her as tight as I could.

"Raven," I started, "I wish I could've prevented all of this from happening to you, but I did realize something from it. I-I love you, Raven. I want be with you all the time. I never want to let you out of my sight. I want you to be all mine and no one else's. I want it to be the two of us for as long as it can be. And- I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"Thank you, Robin. Thank you for everything. Thank you for caring about me when no one else has. Thank you for rescuing me, from Slade, from Trigon, and most importantly from myself. Thank you for keeping hope alive. Thank you. I've never had someone like you, someone who truly loved me for myself. If you are the only good thing I ever have in my life I'll be satisfied. I love you, Robin. It's the most intense emotion I've ever felt in my life, and- it's scary. But the good thing about it is I know that I'll have you if it gets out of control."

I carried her to the bed. "I just want to hold you. I just want to know that you're really there and we never have to be apart again. I lost hope for a while there, as well. I thought you were dead, Raven, and it scared me so much."

She traced her thumb across my cheek. "Did you cry?"

I smiled, admitting, "Lots."

"I always thought I would die as well. I am just amazed to be here right now. I've assumed for my entire life that I would never live to see seventeen. And now that it's looking like I will, I'm shocked. I don't know what to do because I've never planned for life after Trigon. I guess the first thing I'll do is just enjoy being with you."

"You know what today is, Raven?"

She tilted her head to look at me. "No, what day is it?"

"It's the day the world didn't end. And there's no one I'd rather spend it with."

Raven smiled, tears in the corners of her eyes. She kissed me and said, "This is my favorite day."


	13. Winter

**A/N:** This'll be the last chapter in this series. I can't believe I'm finished my first full story *sniff* haha. I'm afraid this one's skimpy on some details as well, sorry. Raven's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

It had been over two years since that day when Robin saved me and the world. I still consider it his doing, even though he continues to insist it was all me. We were still very much "in love" I suppose one would say. I didn't really need a term for it; it was just us.

The others were still in the dark about our relationship; however, we were planning to tell them about it soon. I suppose that is a long time to keep a secret from our friends, but we wanted to let our relationship develop before we revealed it and made it public.

Robin had told Starfire that he had a girlfriend, last year. I had asked him to do that for me because she continued to have a crush on him and I didn't want her to be completely crushed when our relationship was brought to light. She had taken it much better than either of us had expected. I was impressed. She was resilient, and she had moved on, dating a civilian boy who brought her flowers, called her pet names, and told her she was beautiful.

Our love was like winter. It was not dark or cold, no, that was not how I saw winter. Winter is a season of cold, yes, but if you really take the time, it is the most beautiful season of them all. All my life I've felt like I've been out in the cold by myself, but now I feel like someone has invited me inside, or is standing outside with me, warming me, staying with me through the storm. And that is what is most important to me.

"I'm only going to be gone for a week, okay?" Robin's voice brought me back to reality. "And I'll call if plans change."

"Oh, yes. You'll be back in a week."

He smiled at me. "I'm sorry I can't tell you where I'm going, but I'll have a surprise for you when I get back." He shut his suitcase, and I stood.

"I'll be counting the days until your return." I said, and kissed him.

"I really will miss you, though, Raven." Robin whispered, still holding me.

"I'll miss you too." He let go, and headed off to the common room to tell the others he was leaving. I sat on his bed and inhaled deeply. It would only be a week. No problem.

~~One week later~~

Robin hasn't returned. I can't sleep. He said he'd only be gone for a week, but it's been a week, and no sign. We haven't had radio communications with him at all, and I am seriously worried. I miss him. It's hard for me to sleep without him next to me. I don't feel fully myself when he's not around. The others are only slightly worried, but I know Robin best, and I know if he would be late, he would tell us, somehow.

~~Another week later~~

Robin still isn't back. His communicator is offline, of course. The others have called a conference in the main room, but I don't want to go. They will form a search party, and go valiantly off looking for Robin, combing the globe, but I know better.

I enter the room, and see the grave faces. "Good, Raven, you're just in time." Cyborg begins. "Robin's been gone way too long," _No shit._ "and since we can't contact him, we're going to split up and search for him. I've enlisted the help of Titans East in our search. Beast Boy will search the United States and Canada; Starfire will search Japan and East Asia, not including China and Russia. Raven will search-"

I interrupted. "I won't."

I could see the confusion and shock clearly on Starfire's face. "But why? We need all of our friends to assist in our search for Robin!"

"You won't find him. You can search the globe, hell, you can search the universe, but you won't find him." I could see the anger and disbelief forming on their faces. "If you do find him, it'll be a dead body. We know that Robin always calls if he's going to be late, even if he has to use a pay phone. He's over a week late. Either he's dead or he doesn't want to be found. And if he doesn't want to be found, you won't find him."

Starfire's eyes glowed. "How could you say such horrible things? Robin is our friend! We must search for him and we will find him!"

"Raven, that's really over the top." Cyborg was disappointed.

"You just don't care about Robin at all, do you?" Beast Boy accused, his tone a mix of anger and realization.

I turned to look at him, a sad yet cutting smile on my face. "Don't I?" My tone was dangerous.

"That's enough, Raven." Cyborg put his hand on my shoulder. "Unless you have something constructive to say, maybe you should just leave."

"Yes! And maybe you will learn to care about your friends!" Starfire shouted as I left. I hadn't really wanted to say that to them, but it had to be done. I knew what I had said was true, and they didn't want to face it. I didn't want to believe it either, but it was the truth and I could not hide from it as much as I tried. I heard them leave, off on their big search, and I left as well. I went to a forested island known only to me.

I sat there among the leafy green trees, feeling the complete loneliness of the island and the breeze in my hair. "Robin…" I began, my voice cracking. "I thought you'd never leave me…" I lost it, I sobbed, I let everything out. I cried for what must have been hours, for I had arrived at dusk and the stars had been out for awhile when I finally stopped. I cried for the knowledge that Robin could be dead. I cried harder for the knowledge that he could be out there, avoiding me, hiding himself from me. I cried for the death of our relationship. I cried for the loss of the only person who had truly loved me, and the only person who I had truly loved.

I finished. I had never cried like that, ever before. I could only now imagine how Robin must have felt when he thought I had died. It was the loneliest and most painful feeling I had ever experienced. I had loved him with all of my heart, and now it was completely replaced with a sadness that knew no rock bottom. I looked at my reflection in the water, my eyes bloodshot and my cheeks blotchy. "I'm a mess."

I flew back to the Tower, giving the now-dried up and bent trees barely a glance. They were casualties of my emotional outburst, but I didn't care. I had needed to release. I spent the next months in my room, only leaving for food. Robin was gone, and there was no reason to do anything. I missed him so much. My days were constant darkness. People would call me Goth, or whatever, but I had never been as depressed as I was now. My life was absolutely worthless without him.

I couldn't go on like this, I knew. I would end up killing myself or just dying a slow death of emotional pain. It had to stop. So, I went to Nevermore to have a conference. I gathered all of my selves together, and, as different as they all were, today they looked the same. They were in their different colored cloaks, but their expressions were all the same: Desperately sad and achingly painful.

"This needs to stop." I said. "Look at us. We can't continue." None of them said a thing. "We loved Robin, but now he's gone. We were so content when he was with us but now we're on the brink. We need to stop focusing on him."

"May I- may I make a suggestion?" Intelligence asked, emotion overwhelming even her. "We have fallen far too hard, and we cannot allow this to occur again. My suggestion would be to have us all retire. We cannot survive another emotional swing like this, and we must protect ourselves."

"How would we do that?" I asked, curious.

"Well, we can, if we reach a consensus, remove to a place where we will only be found under extreme circumstances. In everyday situations we would not appear."

"Could you all do that?" I asked. "Please- it's not safe for us to feel anymore." One by one, they all agreed, and vanished. I was lucky that my emotions were missing that afternoon when the others finally returned home. I heard Starfire and Beast Boy badmouthing me, which could only mean one thing- I was right. I heard someone knock on my door. It would be Cyborg. I allowed the door to swish open.

"You didn't find him, didn't you?" I asked, not turning around.

"No." He sighed. "No, we didn't. You were right. I was sure you would be once I heard it, but I had to search for him." I said nothing. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

It surprised me to hear him say that, but he was right. "Yes. I can't stay here, Cyborg. I'm sorry, but I can't do it."

"I understand. You'll keep in contact, okay?"

"Yes."

"Take care of yourself, and good luck. We'll all need it."

I stared out at the night. "Yes, we will."

**A/N:** Don't worry, there's a sequel!


End file.
